Starting a New Life at 40? What was I thinking?
We stayed overnight at a friend’s house recently so that we could be there early the next morning to catch their great green macaw saying “Quiero Café” or “I want coffee”. Cocito comes into the house sits on the back of his own chair and talks as he waits for his breakfast and coffee. He eats while they eat. It is really adorable. The couple asked Barry to come and film it for them so they could see if any coffee companies in CR might be interested in using him as a spokesman. He really is a natural in front of the camera. He got it on the first take.
After arriving home, I noticed that I had 20 or so large, red bites on my midsection. I don’t know if the bugs were in the bed or if they just happened to be out that night in her part of town. I got the mirror down from the shelf to check out the situation. After I examined all of the bites, the mirror made its way up to my face. As usual I noticed the moist glow that the constant humidity gives me but what I wasn’t prepared for the 42 year old face looking back at me. My older self image hit me like a truck sometime in the last week. I was never a worrier about what I looked like and was often astonished by how important it was to some people. Up until that very minute I was the same person that I was in high school, in college, at work and so on. I knew that the African sun had done a number on my skin but I never felt different before. This time it’s my mind that has changed what it sees and no amount of creams or sunscreen can turn that around. I am 42. 42 is enough time for a wine to fully mature, 42 is retirement age for athletes, a dog can be born and die 4 times in 42 years. On the other hand, 42 is simply a 21 year old doubled, one half of an entire life time, some soap operas have been around longer. I’m lucky that I am living the life that I want to be living. In fact, in the last year I have learned my third language, gotten rid of any debt, become a farmer, learned how to drive a manual transmission, helped to build my own house and visited most of the national parks in the U.S. I am at a very lucky age because at no other time in my life could I have done these things. I need to keep reminding myself of these things as I wet my fingertips and try to make my eyebrows arch so that my eyes have a little more lift. Life is moving ahead no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing. All this adventure couldn’t change what I saw that day. I probably should have had my long time friends around to feel sorry for me and let me know what to expect next or my family to tell me to get over myself. I guess I will just continue being me and know that I have earned every single smile line. I wonder what my younger husband is thinking as I start to talk about age more? Hopefully, he’s having too much fun to notice.
I went back and forth on if I should post this or not and I figured why the heck not. For listening to my drivel I reward you with “Lazy Dog Fight” Part 1. Enjoy.